The Saturn Scouts
by Nate Grey
Summary: Hotaru Tomoe, Duo Maxwell, and Ryoko vs. the evil Mistress Nine!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners.  
  
Author's Note: Funny how everything that starts out as a joke on "The Anime World" turns into a story. Anyhow, you demanded it, so here it is. If you want more info on how this came to be, you should read "Return of the Saturn Scouts!" (part of the Subreality series) first. I know, it sounds weird, but trust me, that one comes first. The characters all know each other from "The Anime World," if you're wondering where this friendship came from. (I know Cell absorbed Ryoko back then, but he did the same to Android 18, and SHE escaped...and no one has a stronger will than Ryoko when she's pissed.)   
  
Keep in mind that this is supposed to be a TV show, so you can just consider the Prologue a lead-in to the entire show, just like on Sailor Moon...sort of. For you CardCaptor fans, Sailor Sakura makes a guest appearance, as does Pretty Sammy. Don't get upset, I just made up their attacks.  
  
Summary: Mistress Nine is back, and she wants revenge on Hotaru.  
  
The Saturn Scouts  
  
Prologue  
  
The soldiers of the Moon Kingdom had never been more afraid in their lives. Finally, they had encountered an enemy that was just too powerful. There was nothing they could do now, except hope that Queen Serenity had some secret weapon that none of them knew about.  
  
Near the gates of the city, the first lookout's jaw dropped in sudden horror as he spotted the dark shape in the distance, lumbering closer by the second. "RUN!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "They've got some sort of giant robot! We're doomed!"  
  
The second lookout also saw the giant robot, and when he realized who was piloting it, he fainted.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Any last words, Queen?" the man chuckled, an evil smile on his face.  
  
Queen Serenity glared at him. "You won't get away with this, murderer!"  
  
"I already have! My troops are storming your kingdom as we speak, and they've killed your entire army. Who's gonna stop me, huh? You?" He let out a loud snort.  
  
"No. I will."  
  
The man spun around to see a small girl standing in front of him. She didn't look like too big a threat, and he laughed. That was his first mistake.  
  
"Get lost, brat, before you get hurt." He turned away and pulled out his knife. The queen would fetch a great ransom if she was alive, but nobody said she had to be healthy. He stepped towards her, a sinister gleam in his eyes.  
  
He heard something explode behind him, but as he turned to look, a boot crashed into his chin, breaking his jaw. He stumbled to the floor, trying to figure out what had happened, when a curved blade came to rest against his nose. His gaze traveled up the blade, landing on the one person he had hoped wouldn't show up today.  
  
"Now, are you going to put down that knife, or do I have to make you?" she asked calmly.  
  
The knife hit the floor before the entire sentence was out of her mouth.  
  
"Thank you." She rewarded him with quick punch to the forehead, which left him out cold. It was somewhat less satisfying than the attack she'd originally planned to use, which would've turned him completely inside-out, but this one was less messy.  
  
"Sailor Saturn?" Queen Serenity asked quietly.  
  
Saturn glanced at her. "He'll live."  
  
"I see." The queen thought for a moment. "How did you know-"  
  
"We picked up your emergency signals."  
  
"...we?"  
  
Saturn merely smiled and counted off on her fingers. "5, 4, 3, 2..."  
  
The back wall collapsed just then, bringing a large dust cloud with it. A large, robotic hand pierced through the cloud and came to rest on the floor. Seconds later, a woman with gray hair appeared beside Saturn.  
  
"I gotta admit, kid, that's the most fun I've had in centuries!" She froze when she spotted Serenity. "Uh oh."  
  
There was a loud explosion from the main hall, and a young man burst in through the main doors, gun in hand. When he realized the threat was over, he lowered the weapon and walked over to the group. "Y'know, there were a lot more guards than you estimated, Ryoko!" he said heatedly.  
  
Ryoko grinned. "Yeah, well, you said you could handle a few."  
  
"20 to 35 is a few for me. Not 2,000!"  
  
Ryoko gave him a playful shove. "You Gundam pilots are just getting soft. I could take two million easy."  
  
"You have powers!"  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
"This is…the Ryoko?" Serenity asked slowly.  
  
Saturn nodded. "Uh huh."  
  
"The space pirate and/or demon?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Who is wanted...well...everywhere?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Serenity blinked. "She's...?"  
  
"With me," Saturn replied, trying to resist the huge smile that was begging to take the place of the serious look on her face.  
  
"And...he would be...?"  
  
The young man saluted. "Duo Maxwell, pilot of the Deathscythe Hell Gundam, reporting for duty, ma'am!"  
  
"Duty?" Serenity asked weakly.  
  
"That's right. They're both with me." Saturn made no attempt to hide her smile this time.  
  
"That's right!" Ryoko chimed in. "We're the stupendous, spectacular, nothing short of stunning…"  
  
"SATURN SCOUTS!" all three shouted, striking poses.  
  
Serenity looked pale. "Oh, dear…"  
  
"What's wrong, Queen Serenity?" Saturn asked, gently patting her hand. "You look sick."  
  
"That's because I feel sick. I think…I need to lie down for a while."  
  
"Don't worry about a thing, Queen!" Ryoko gave her a big smile. "We'll make sure that no one disturbs you while you're resting. Oh, and Duo will clean up the mess he made of the wall."  
  
"Hey, YOU were piloting the Gundam!" Duo protested. "You clean it up!"  
  
"Well, it's YOURS!"  
  
"I LET YOU BORROW IT!"  
  
"Are they always like this?" Serenity asked quietly as the two continued fighting.  
  
"Yup," Saturn replied with a grin. "Just be glad that they like each other."  



	2. The Awakening

  
Part 1: The Awakening  
  
"Duo, wake up!" Quatre shook his friend harder. "Duo!"  
  
Duo Maxwell slowly opened his eyes. "This better be important. I was right in the middle of the perfect dream."  
  
"Forget that! We just got a call from Earth!"  
  
"Yeah, so?" Duo asked, stifling a yawn.  
  
"Well...it was from Serena."  
  
Duo looked at him with mild interest. "What'd she say?"  
  
"Um...it's about Ho-"  
  
Duo instantly grabbed Quatre. "What? WHAT?!"  
  
"Gaaah! Let go!"  
  
"TELL ME!"  
  
"Something's wrong with Hotaru! They don't know what, and AAAH!" Quatre was thrown halfway across the room, where he slammed into the wall and fell to the floor. The last thing he heard was the sound of Duo's rapidly fading footsteps, just before he lost consciousness.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Tenchi was actually having a good day. He'd only been tackled once, and was even starting to heal up. Nothing had blown up or been sucked into outer space, and no one had attempted to kill anyone. All in all, it was a rare day in the Masaki house. Then, just like that, the peace was shattered.  
  
"TENCHI!!!"  
  
He closed his eyes, cursing himself for a fool. He'd forgotten what day it was. It was the one day when anything that could go wrong absolutely had to without fail. The day he dreaded and feared every year. The day that should've been marked, circled, AND highlighted on his calendar. Yet, somehow, he'd forgotten.  
  
This was the day that Yugi had come to visit.  
  
Two blurs suddenly zoomed past him, bringing a blast of cool air with them. Before Tenchi could gather his thoughts, Ryoko phased through the floor, an angry look on her face.  
  
"Tenchi! Did you see them?!"  
  
"See who?" Tenchi asked.  
  
"Sasami and that devil-child friend of hers!"  
  
"...you mean Yugi?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"She's not a devil-child, Ryoko."  
  
"Tenchi, as a first-rate demon summoner, I've seen all kinds of demons. I am telling you that I have NEVER seen anything or anyone as evil as that child! She makes Kagato look innocent! How can you possibly defend her?!"  
  
"She's never done anything to me," he replied. "I think she's an angel."  
  
Ryoko bit down on her lip, then phased back through the floor, muttering to herself.  
  
Tenchi waited twenty seconds, then sighed. "She's gone, girls."  
  
Sasami and Yugi crawled out from under the couch, giggling like mad.  
  
"What'd you do this time?" Tenchi asked seriously.  
  
"Nothing much," Sasami said, glancing at Yugi.  
  
Tenchi gave them a stern look.  
  
"Okay, so we messed with her sunbathing," Yugi admitted.  
  
"How? Did you replace the sunscreen with butter again?"  
  
Sasami grinned. "Well, while she was asleep..."  
  
"...we spelled out, 'Property of Planet Jurai' on her back," Yugi finished.  
  
Tenchi was almost afraid to ask. "Why?"  
  
"Because we knew she'd be pissed," Yugi replied, as if he'd asked a dumb question.  
  
"Anyway, thanks for covering for us, Tenchi!" Sasami added, giving him one of her brightest smiles.  
  
"Sure. How long are you staying again, Yugi?"  
  
Yugi tilted her head thoughtfully. "Well, Dad said I could stay until you kicked me out. But I know you'd never do that, so just until I've had enough fun with Sasami."  
  
Tenchi nearly fainted. "I'll have to thank Vegeta in person."  
  
Yugi nodded. "You do that. We're gonna go see if Washu has any super glue. Later, Tenchi."   
  
Tenchi caught Sasami by the arm as they started to leave. "Sasami, promise me you won't let her go too far."  
  
Sasami gave him a blank look. Finally, she said, "Define 'too far,' Tenchi."  
  
Tenchi thought for a moment. "Never mind. Just stay away from my room and I won't blow your cover."  
  
"Deal. Bye!" Sasami quickly ran to catch up with her friend.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"He should be here by now," Hotaru weakly complained for the ninety-seventh time in an hour.  
  
"Don't worry, Hotaru," Reenie said. "Duo will be here soon...I hope."  
  
Suddenly, there were a series of pain-filled cries and loud thumps from the hallway.  
  
Hotaru's face lit up. "He's here!"  
  
The door burst open, and Duo ran in, a crazed look in his eyes. A few seconds later, Ryoko followed, admiring the hallway full of unconscious doctors and male nurses.   
  
"What just happened?" Reenie asked, a blank look on her face.  
  
Duo walked right past her and wrapped his arms around Hotaru protectively. "You okay, babe?"  
  
"I am now," she murmured, pressing her face against his shirt.  
  
Ryoko snorted. "Great. I escape the demon seed only to land in the middle of the mushy stuff. This is just not my day."  
  
Duo shot her a glare before turning back to Hotaru. "Quatre told me you were sick."  
  
"She passed out again," Reenie explained. "The doctors think she's getting worse."  
  
"I'm fine," Hotaru insisted. "I just got lonely without Duo."  
  
Reenie rolled her eyes while Ryoko made gagging noises.  
  
Duo frowned. "I knew letting you come back to Earth was a mistake. They have a better hospital on Peacemillion. As soon as you're strong enough, I'm taking you there in my Gundam."  
  
Hotaru smiled up at him and slipped her arms around his waist. "Can I drive?"  
  
Duo chuckled and stroked her hair. "Okay, I'll let you cut up some asteroids, but no more space stations. The last one was occupied."  
  
"There were only two people," she pointed out. "And Ryoko did save them in time."  
  
"You almost killed some people?" Reenie asked in shock.  
  
"It was target practice!" Duo and Hotaru cried at the same time.  
  
"Besides, she's the only one of us that doesn't know how to pilot Deathscythe," Ryoko added.  
  
"Us?" Reenie asked. "You mean you three...hang out...together?!"  
  
"Yeah," Ryoko replied. "We all have this taste for destruction. Stuff's great for strong friendships, really."  
  
"But Hotaru's never destroyed anything!" Reenie cried.  
  
"Geez, and this is your best friend?" Ryoko asked uncertainly. "She doesn't know ANYTHING about you, kid."  
  
Hotaru smiled weakly. "Reenie, remember that time I said I went to visit my cousin in America?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well...I was actually blowing up an abandoned spaceship with Duo and Ryoko."  
  
Reenie stared at them all in surprise. "What have you done to her?! Hotaru's not like this! You people have corrupted her!"  
  
"Whatever." Ryoko stretched her arms and walked over to the bed. "You guys ready to go or what?"  
  
Hotaru groaned, suddenly becoming very dizzy. "I don't feel so good..."  
  
Ryoko placed a hand on her forehead. "She's burning up, Duo. We better get her to that hospital fast."  
  
Duo pressed his hand over Ryoko's. "This is no ordinary disease. I can feel the heat right through your hand!"  
  
There was a blinding flash of violet light, and all three faded from sight.  
  
Reenie stared at the empty bed. "Um...where'd everybody go?"  
  
Continued in Part 2: Evil Reborn  
  
The trio encounters Mistress Nine for the first time!  



	3. Evil Reborn

Part 2: Evil Reborn  
  
Duo woke up to find Ryoko leaning over him. She was holding Hotaru in her arms. "You okay?" she asked, shifting the small girl's weight from one arm to the other.  
  
"Yeah, just great. Where are we?" Duo rubbed his head.  
  
"I dunno, but I can't figure out how this happened, either." She held up her wrist, revealing the jewel embedded there. However, instead of its normal red color, it was now dark violet. "Anything different on you?"  
  
"I don't think so. My tattoo's still...HEY!"  
  
Ryoko peered at his palm. "Duo, you are now officially whipped. I mean, getting her sigil tattooed on your hand? Really."  
  
"But it was a scythe before! A black scythe little blood lines flying from it!"  
  
"Sure. I believe you."  
  
Duo frowned and stared at the sigil. "Well, the last time I checked, it was still a scythe, and that was right before I got to the hospital."  
  
"Well, my jewel was still red back at Tenchi's."  
  
"So maybe it happened when we touched her forehead?" he suggested.  
  
She shrugged. "The kid's been out since I woke up."  
  
Duo turned to take a look at the land. It was a very rocky surface, riddled with craters and dried riverbeds. "This is just a guess, but I think we're on another planet."  
  
Ryoko snorted. "If that was true, you'd be choking right now. Only I can breathe in space."  
  
"I did say it was a guess." Duo turned back to her. "Well, the way I see it, we could either call for help-"  
  
"Or I could teleport us back," Ryoko finished.  
  
"I was going to say that we probably ended up here for a reason, so we might as well find out why."  
  
"No offense, Duo, but just because your girlfriend brought us here doesn't mean we should stay. If you recall, she's had a history of...evilness."  
  
"This from a space pirate who also happens to be a demon summoner?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Duo grinned. "Anyway, let's check it out. It's been a long time since we've explored space."  
  
Ryoko sighed and fell in step beside him. "Fine. But you have to carry her for a while, too."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sakura was almost asleep when her private phone line rang. She sighed and rolled over, nearly crushing Kero as she grabbed it. "Hello?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Hi, Sakura? This is Reenie."  
  
"Reenie? Who's that?"  
  
"Uh...a friend of Li's. Sorta. Listen, I really need your help."  
  
Sakura groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Unless this is an emergency, I can't-"  
  
"It is. Do you remember the Sailor Scouts?"  
  
"Vaguely. Why?"  
  
"One of them needs your help. She's...well...I was hoping you'd be able to find her."  
  
Sakura sighed heavily. "Do you have ANY idea where she might be?"  
  
"Um...outer space?"  
  
Sakura blinked. "Right. Um...I'm gonna have to get some special help with this one. Is she in any immediate danger?"  
  
"Well, I'm not sure. She MIGHT be."  
  
"Great. Could you be any less detailed? It's only two in the morning."  
  
"Sorry. All I know is that Duo Maxwell and Ryoko are with her."  
  
"So why do you need my help? They were practically born to travel in space."  
  
"Sakura, that might not be enough! They need help!"  
  
"Look, I'll make some calls and see what I can do, but you'd better find someone who actually has a spaceship first." Sakura hung up, then dialed another number. "Hello, Guy? Yeah, it's me. I need you to get me a spaceship. Used? Yeah, I guess that'll work."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Duo and Ryoko stared at the stone coffin.   
  
"So...what do you think's in it?" Ryoko asked.  
  
"I'd say a body, but who could be buried out here?"  
  
"Maybe it's the reason we're here." Ryoko ran her hand over the top. "It's not like we have anything else to do."  
  
"I guess not."  
  
Ryoko handed Hotaru to Duo. "Good. Then you hold her while I open it."  
  
"Are you sure about this?"  
  
"No, but I'm not gonna stand here all day." Ryoko examined the coffin. "Hmm...primitive design, and ten steel seals. Shouldn't be too hard to bust open."  
  
While Ryoko went to work on the seals, Duo brushed a strand of hair from Hotaru's face. "C'mon, babe. You gotta wake up sometime. You're really starting to worry me here."  
  
Instantly, Hotaru opened her eyes. "D-Duo?" she whispered. "What happened?"  
  
"Doesn't matter," he replied, kissing the top of her head. "You okay?"  
  
"I think so." Her eyes widened in alarm. "What is Ryoko doing?"  
  
"Oh, she's just opening this coffin we found out here."  
  
Hotaru gasped. "Ryoko, stop! DON'T OPEN THAT!"  
  
Ryoko looked up just as her fist crashed through the final seal. "What? I couldn't hear you over the noise!"  
  
There was a low scraping sound as the stone lid moved away from the coffin. A violet mist spewed over the edge of the coffin, moving quickly across the rocky terrain.   
  
"I'm guessing that's not a good thing," Duo muttered. "Any idea what Ryoko just did, babe?"  
  
"It's the evil," Hotaru said. "It was trapped here, and now it's escaping!"  
  
"Not escaping," a voice said. "At least, not yet. I plan to have my revenge first."  
  
Duo turned to see a woman glaring at them. A woman that looked pretty familiar, now that he thought about it. "She one of yours, Ryoko?"  
  
"Nope. For once, she's not after me. At least, I don't think so."  
  
The woman smiled evilly. "It's not you two I want to destroy. It's the girl."  
  
"Back off, lady!" Duo shouted. "Hotaru's with us!"  
  
"Then you all die." The woman raised her hands to the sky. "Guardian Saturn, grant me your dark powers!"  
  
"She can't do that, can she, kid?" Ryoko whispered.  
  
"I-I don't know," Hotaru replied, looking worried.  
  
Duo was the first to notice the huge shadow. "INCOMING!" He shoved Hotaru away as the meteor crashed to the ground.  
  
Hotaru hit the ground hard. When she looked up, the giant meteor was still smoking from impact. Ryoko and Duo were nowhere to be seen.  
  
The woman grabbed Hotaru by the neck and hauled her up. "This time, I won't be limited to your weak little body. This time, I am free, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me." Her eyes flashed. "And before I forget, Pharaoh 90 says hello. I promised I'd deliver his...warmest regards."   
  
Hotaru could feel the scalding heat all over her body, and just before she passed out, there was only one thought going through her head: Mistress Nine was back.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Sakura, normally I wouldn't be doing this, you know. I could get fired...again."  
  
Sakura didn't look too concerned as they walked through the parking lot. "What's more important, Guy? Your job or three of your stars?"  
  
"Well, I think-"  
  
"Let me rephrase that. If your stars die, you don't HAVE a job."  
  
Guy considered that. "Okay, but I have to warn you, the spaceship is used."  
  
"How used?"  
  
Guy grinned weakly. "So used that it came with an owner?"  
  
"...what?"  
  
"Sorry, Sakura. When I told her about your crisis, she insisted on going, too. Besides, it IS her ship."  
  
Sakura stopped walking. "This person isn't crazy, right?"  
  
"Nope. A bit cheery at times, but normal...as far as anime super heroines go. Oh, this is it."  
  
Sakura looked up. "THIS is a spaceship? It looks like it's made out of wood!"  
  
"Well, it's strong wood...I guess." Guy shrugged. "Anyway, it's almost totally self-piloting."  
  
"You still haven't told me who the owner is."  
  
"No need to," Guy replied. "Here she comes now."  
  
Sakura turned to see a pair of floating logs behind her. "Uh..."  
  
"Hi there!"  
  
Sakura looked up to see a girl her size sitting on one of the logs. "Oh. Hi."  
  
The girl hopped to the ground and shook Sakura's hand. "I'm Sasami. What's your name?"  
  
"Uh...Sakura. These are your...logs?"  
  
"Oh, they're not logs. They're my guardians."  
  
"They're your PARENTS?"  
  
"No, no! They protect me. Well, my sister, anyway. They just gave me a ride here, but I have my own inside the ship."  
  
Guy cleared his throat. "Will you ladies be needing anything else?"  
  
"Nope. We're fine. Thanks, Guy!" Sasami pulled Sakura toward the ship.  
  
"Come back alive, please!" Guy reminded them. "It's bad enough we've already got three stars missing!"  
  
"There is no need to worry, Guy," the guardian closest to him said. "Princess Sasami is very resourceful."  
  
"I just hope she's really lucky," Guy muttered.  
  
Continued in Part 3: Power of Saturn  



	4. Power of Saturn

Note: This is a spin-off of "The Anime World," so keep in mind that Yugi is now a part of Vegeta's family.  
  
Part 3: Power of Saturn  
  
  
Hotaru grunted and slowly opened her eyes. "D-Duo? Ryoko?"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
Hotaru made it to her knees, ignoring the pain in her limbs as best she could. "Guys, where are you?"  
  
"They cannot hear you, my child," a strange voice answered.   
  
Hotaru gapsed as an old man suddenly appeared in fron of her. "Who are you?"  
  
"A friend," he replied, helping her up. "You must hurry, Hotaru. Mistress Nine is on her way to Earth. If she is allowed to establish a power base there, she may become impossible to stop."  
  
"But how? She has my power! She called on Guardian Saturn earlier!"  
  
The old man sighed. "I'm afraid Mistress Nine was able to access that power because she still has a connection with you, my dear. Though she is no longer restricted by your body, she does share the same power as you. That is only one of your concerns, though. We will need to free your friends first."  
  
"Why are you helping me?" Hotaru asked. "And how do you know my name?"  
  
"Very well. I suppose it is best that I tell you the truth. I am the physical manifestation of your power source. In short, the spirit of Saturn."  
  
Her eyes widened. "You're Guardian Saturn?"  
  
"That is one of my names, yes. As I said, we must hurry. Mistress Nine has put a great strain on my powers. I have divided my remaining strength into three portions. The first shall go to you, since you will need it battle Mistress Nine. The last two will go to your friends."  
  
"But what will happen to you?"  
  
The old man smiled. "I will be fine." He placed his hands on her forehead. "Remember, my child. You alone now possess the power to stop Mistress Nine. Your friends can help you reach her, but you must face her by yourself. It is the only way to stop her for good."  
  
Hotaru gasped as she felt energy flowing into her body. "Is this dangerous?"  
  
"Not for you," he replied. "Now, lift the meteor and free your friends."  
  
"With my hands?" she asked, looking puzzled.   
  
"No. With your mind."  
  
Hotaru stared at the meteor. "Can't you do it?"  
  
"If I did, I might not have enough power left to share with your friends."  
  
Hotaru swallowed noisily and closed her eyes.  
  
After a few long moments, the meteor shifted and rolled away.  
  
Ryoko was the first to rise from the crater. "I'm never going anywhere with you people again," she muttered, dusting off her clothes.  
  
Duo slowly got up and winced. "I wouldn't complain. Us humans don't exactly have automatic shields."  
  
"Sounds like a personal problem." Ryoko dragged him out of the crater.  
  
"Duo! Ryoko! You're okay!" Hotaru ran over and threw her arms around them both.  
  
"Takes more than a pebble to take us out, kid." Ryoko patted the girl's head. "Hey, who's the old guy?"  
  
"He's Guardian Saturn! He gave me the power to move the meteor!"  
  
"Wait. YOU moved the rock, babe?" Duo asked.  
  
Hotaru nodded.   
  
"There is no time for conversation," the old man said. "We must act quickly. Show me your sigils."  
  
"Our what?" Duo asked.  
  
"That," he replied, pointing to the tattoo on Duo's hand.  
  
Ryoko held up her wrist. "What are these things for, anyway?"  
  
"The power transfer, of course." The old man grabbed Duo's hand and Ryoko's wrist. "This might sting."  
  
That was an understatment. When the transfer was done, Duo and Ryoko fell to their knees, gasping for air.  
  
"It didn't hurt when he did it to me," Hotaru said, looking confused.  
  
"You were already infused with the power of Saturn, child. These two were not."  
  
"Just as long as we don't have to do that again," Ryoko muttered.  
  
The old man placed a hand on Ryoko's forehead. "I name you Chaos, Bringer of Destruction. No enemy can escape your wrath."  
  
Ryoko's eyes took on a red glow.  
  
"Now that is creepy," Duo said.  
  
The old man touched Duo's forehead. "I name you Death, Thief of Life. No creature can resist your touch."  
  
Duo's eyes grew cold and empty, taking on a black glow.  
  
The old man finally turned to Hotaru. "I name you Silence, Ender of All. Nothing can ignore your commands."  
  
While Hotaru's eyes didn't really change, their violet light was brighter than usual.  
  
"Go, my children. Save the Earth from Mistress Nine before it is too late."  
  
The trio bowed to him, then faded in a flash of red light.  
  
The old man smiled faintly. "It is done." Then, his eyes rolled up into his head, and he collapsed to the ground.   
  
* * * * *  
  
"So let me get this straight," Sasami said. "You're a superhero, but you don't have a secret identity?"  
  
Sakura blinked. "Well, there's only a handful of people that have seen me as a superhero. So it is a secret, but I don't need another identity, since I can trust those people."  
  
"Must be nice," Sasami murmured wistfully.  
  
"Sometimes." Sakura glanced at the console. "Shouldn't you be...y'know...flying the ship?"  
  
"Oh, there's no need. My guardians take care of that."  
  
"Princess Sasami?" a voice asked.   
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We've run into some debris. It looks like the remains of a ship."  
  
Sakura's eyes widened. "You don't think...?"  
  
"Let's hope not." Sasami turned to the console. "Scan for survivors."  
  
"Scanning...done. One survivor found."  
  
"Bring them aboard, then. Prepare the infirmary."  
  
"At once, princess."  
  
Sasami stood up. "You should probably come with me. I only know Ryoko; the other two are mysteries to me."  
  
"Right." Sakura followed her to the rear of the ship.  
  
The airlock slowly slid open, revealing a girl lying on the floor. She was covered in blood, most likely her own. Several parts of her body were badly burned.  
  
Sasami leaned down and checked for a pulse. "She's barely alive. Is this the person we're looking for?"  
  
Sakura stared for a long moment. "Well, she isn't dressed like a Sailor Scout, and her eyes are brown instead of violet...although her hair looks dark violet. No, I guess this isn't her. But we can't just throw her back out there, can we?"  
  
"Of course not. We'll take her with us." Sasami peered closely at the girl. "I think she was attacked, and her ship exploded. I wonder how long she's been out there?"  
  
"Readings indicate the wreckage to be three weeks old, princess."  
  
"That long?" Sakura asked. "How could anyone survive in space that long?"  
  
"She's either very lucky, very strong, or both."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Reenie snatched up the phone on the first ring. "Hello?!"  
  
"Reenie? It's Guy. I've got some news."  
  
"You found Hotaru?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Well, no. But I've sent out a search party to look for her and the others."  
  
"What happens if they can't find her?"  
  
"I'll lose my job."  
  
"Other than that."  
  
"Um...I'll be homeless?"  
  
"Never mind, Guy. Who did you send after them?"  
  
"Sakura and Sasami."  
  
"Sakura and WHO?"  
  
"Aren't all you princesses in some sort of elite social club? You people really have to start coming to the Rising Sun planning meetings."  
  
"That doesn't tell me who she is, Guy."  
  
"She's a friend of Yugi's. She's the closest thing to Sailor Scout we have left, too."  
  
"I guess that's good. Why didn't Yugi go with them?"  
  
Guy hesitated. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"But it's not fair!" Yugi whined. "I wanna be one!"  
  
Vegeta stared down at her. "Yugi, I already said no. Don't make me repeat myself."  
  
"But why? You used to like the Sailor Scouts!"  
  
"And I still do. Which is precisely why no daughter of mine will ever become one. I will not allow you to be drooled over by thousands of men and boys."  
  
Yugi pouted. "You're mean!"  
  
"Thank you. No."  
  
Yugi turned to Trunks. "Help me out here!"  
  
"Shh! Sailor Moon is on!" he hissed, pointing at the TV.  
  
"Some big brother YOU are." Yugi grabbed Vegeta's hand and pulled him over to the TV, where Sailor Mars had just finished transforming. "Can you HONESTLY say you have a problem with me dressing like that?"  
  
Vegeta glanced at the TV. "Yes."  
  
Yugi narrowed her eyes. "Give me one good reason."  
  
Trunks rolled his eyes and muttered quietly, "Because I said so."  
  
"Beacause I said so!" Vegeta shouted.  
  
"That's not a reason!" Yugi cried.  
  
"I am the parent, and you are the child! You will obey me!"  
  
"Make me!"  
  
Trunks dove behind the couch as an energy blast sailed over his head. "I bet Gohan doesn't have to live like this."  
  
Yugi scrambled behind the couch. "Okay, so I shouldn't have said that."  
  
"What was your first clue?"  
  
Yugi frowned. "It's his fault! I should be a Sailor Scout if I wanna be!"  
  
"If you're a Sailor Scout, then throw something that will turn him to moon dust, and do it quick!"  
  
"Okay, but it was your idea." Yugi formed a ball of energy in her hands and threw it over the couch. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!" she shouted, ducking her head.  
  
An eerie silence followed. Trunks slowly peered over the couch. "Uh oh."  
  
Yugi climbed up on his shoulders. "Yikes."  
  
"You do know I was kidding about the dust stuff, right?"  
  
"Really? I didn't know that."  
  
"If you two are done," Vegeta said from behind them, "I have a daughter to punish."  
  
Yugi turned pale, and Trunks swallowed noisily. "Uh oh."  
  
Vegeta grabbed Yugi and tucked her under his arm, despite her kicking and screaming about the new child abuse laws. He walked out of the room, leaving Trunks by himself.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute!" Trunks cried. "Where's the TV?!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Mistress Nine knew that in order to start an evil empire, the first thing you needed was someone to do the grunt work. Unfortunately, she also knew just where to get grunts to do her bidding.  
  
No one gave it a second thought when she walked into the Midnight Run planning meeting.   
  
Guy looked up when she came in, but he kept on reading the agenda. "One more thing, guys. You have GOT to stop cursing. We're Cartoon Network, and we can't get away with that."  
  
Gene Starwind leaned back in his chair. "We don't do it on purporse. It just slips sometimes."  
  
"Only if you replace 'sometimes' with 'every week'," Jim Hawking muttered.  
  
"Hey, shut up!" Gene shouted, smacking the back of his head.  
  
"You two are so childish," Suzuka groaned, closing her eyes.  
  
"I agree," Mistress Nine said silkily, placing her hand on Suzuka's shoulder.  
  
"She a friend of yours, Suzu?" Aisha asked, sniffing at the woman.  
  
"Stop calling me that!" Suzuka hissed.  
  
Aisha stuck out her tongue, even as Mistress Nine placed a hand on her head.  
  
"Hey, who are you?" Gene asked, peering at Mistress Nine.  
  
Mistress Nine smiled. "Show them, my dears."  
  
Aisha and Suzuka rose from their seats.  
  
"That's not good, is it?" Jim asked.  
  
"No, partner, I don't think so," Gene replied. "You got any Castors on you?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Aisha hopped onto the table and growled menacingly at Jim, while Suzuka drew her wooden sword and pointed it at Jean's neck.  
  
"Damn," Gene muttered, shooting Guy a look.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
Mistress Nine chuckled evilly. "I do love my work."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Target sighted," Ryoko announced as she spotted the glowing building in the distance. "Looks like Mistress Nine chose Cartoon Network HQ as ground zero for her evil empire."  
  
"Which means she's probably enslaved half the employees and just about all the characters by now," Duo added, a frown on his face.  
  
"That doesn't matter," Hotaru said quietly. "We still have to stop her."  
  
"You sure you're up for this, babe?" Duo asked, sounding concerned. "You haven't been yourself since we got here."  
  
"Yeah, you actually sound confident, for once," Ryoko pointed out.  
  
"Aren't friends supposed to encourage you?" Hotaru asked.  
  
"Good friends, yes," Ryoko replied. "But if it means anything, we'll be here to doubt you every step of the way, kid."  
  
"Thanks, I think."  
  
Duo slipped an arm around Hotaru's waist. "How 'bout a kiss for luck, then?"  
  
She smiled up at him. "Okay."  
  
Duo closed his eyes and leaned forward, smiling as his lips met hers. However, Hotaru's lips felt...different. Duo opened his eyes and screamed.  
  
Ryoko laughed. "What? You said you wanted a kiss, Romeo!"  
  
Duo gagged and tried to force himself to vomit.  
  
Hotaru giggled. Then her smile was replaced by a serious look.  
  
Duo and Ryoko stopped fighting and turned toward Cartoon Network HQ, which was beginning to look like something out of a Ghostbusters movie.  
  
Hotaru transformed into Sailor Saturn, gripping the Silence Glaive tightly in one hand. She narrowed her eyes. "Saturn Scouts...move in."  
  
The trio flew forward with a sudden burst of speed, heading straight for the front door.  
  
Continued in Part 4: The Sadist Scouts  



	5. The Sadist Scouts

Part 4: The Sadist Scouts  
  
"Are we getting any closer to finding Hotaru?"  
  
Sasami peered at the console. "I've picked up an energy trail that matches hers, but it's leading back to Earth."  
  
Sakura frowned. "So we're going the wrong way?"  
  
"Not anymore." Sasami tapped a few keys, and the ship began to turn around. "How's our visitor?"  
  
"Still unconscious. The guardians say her vital signs are up to 69%. I guess that's good, for now."  
  
"It's very good. Almost too good for a normal person. Then again, a normal person would be dead by now."  
  
"She's an alien?" Sakura asked, her eyes widening.  
  
"Maybe, maybe not. I guess we'll have to ask when she wakes up."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Duo checked his gun and nodded. "Okay. Mistress Nine is probably inside this office, so be ready for anything."  
  
Ryoko started to blast the door down, but Saturn grabbed her arm. "Wait. Something's wrong."  
  
"What was your first clue, when we got crushed by the meteor, or when Mistress Nine left you for dead?" Ryoko asked, looking annoyed.  
  
"No, I mean...this doesn't feel right."  
  
"How do you WANT it to feel, kid? We can't waste time here."  
  
Saturn released her arm, and Ryoko took out the door. The trio slowly entered the office, stopping just inside the doorway.   
  
Mistress Nine sat behind the desk, looking very confident. "It's about time you got here. I can't have my revenge if you're not around."  
  
"Can it, lady!" Ryoko ordered. "I'm sick of you already!"  
  
"Then perhaps you'll allow my friends to entertain you. Girls?"  
  
If it had been a normal sword, Duo might have spotted the gleam and had time to react. However, this sword was wooden, but no less effective as it was driven through Ryoko's back and burst from her chest.  
  
Ryoko made a gagging sound and collapsed to the ground.  
  
Suzuka raised her sword and smiled. "Who's next?"  
  
Duo started to raise his gun, but it was torn from his hand as five claws sunk into his wrist and threw him into the far wall.  
  
Aisha snarled and licked the blood from her claws. "Let's find out what you taste like," she suggested, starting towards Saturn.  
  
"No, Aisha," Mistress Nine said sharply as she stood up. "She is mine."  
  
Aisha backed off, snarling all the while.  
  
Saturn fell into a battle stance as Mistress Nine stopped in front of her. "You can't win," she said quietly.  
  
"I already have won," the woman replied.   
  
Saturn leaped forward with an inhuman speed and slashed downward with the Silence Glaive, sending a shower of red spraying across her costume.  
  
Mistress Nine stumbled backward and bumped into the desk. "You think it's that easy?" she asked, laughter building up in her throat. "I knew you would come for me, Saturn. That's why I brought a little insurance. You won't be able to finish the job."  
  
"What could you possibly have that would make me stop?" Saturn asked with a smirk.  
  
"She has me," said a voice from behind her.  
  
Saturn spun around, prepared to attack again. She gasped, and the Silence Glaive fell from her hands and dropped to the floor. Though she had never seen the woman before, somehow, she knew that the battle was over, and she had lost.  
  
Black Lady smiled down at her. "Hello, Hotaru. I've missed you."  
  
"Reenie?" Saturn asked softly. "Is that you?"  
  
"I'll give you one guess," she replied, grasping Saturn's hands.  
  
Ryoko slowly looked up to see the evil light in Black Lady's eyes. "Run, kid!" she shouted. "Get outta here now!"  
  
Saturn was beyond words as she stared into the woman's eyes. "Reenie...what has she done to you?"  
  
"She's given me my freedom, Hotaru. It's wonderful! And soon, you'll be free, too...of your pitiful existence!"   
  
Saturn felt twin stabs of white-hot pain in her hands, and she pulled them away. But all she could do was stare into Black Lady's eyes as the world faded to black.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Guy had a plan. Maybe it wasn't a very good one, but it was a plan. In theory, all the characters had to obey the rules their creators made for them. In other words, they had to follow the script. While Guy couldn't do anything to stop Mistress Nine, he could do something to help the Saturn Scouts. After all, his name had been on the original proposal for the show, right after Yugi's. They had creative control. At least, that's what he was hoping.  
  
"Okay. I think I'm almost done here."  
  
Gene glared at him. "It's a little late for that."  
  
"You got what you deserved, Starwind."  
  
"Yeah. I can see how being locked in a broom closet with you is a fitting punishment."  
  
"Shut up and quit squirming! I have to use your back for a table. This document could very well make the world a better place!"  
  
Gene smirked. "What is it, a suicide note?"  
  
"Very funny. It's a script for the Saturn Scouts."  
  
"Okay. What's your point?"  
  
"I'm hoping that since I helped create the show, I can still change it."  
  
"Uh, we're already locked in the closet. How do you change that?"  
  
"I can't. But I might be able to get the Scouts some back-up. I just hope Duo and Ryoko aren't pissed at me for taking their new powers."  
  
"Wait, wait," Gene said. "You're going to HELP by taking the power from the good guys?"  
  
"They're both unconscious now. I'm giving their power to heroines that can do some good."  
  
"Like who? The Powerpuff Girls?"  
  
"...not quite."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sakura still wasn't entirely comfortable in her Sailor Scout costume. After all, she wasn't a Scout. She had to be breaking some kind of copyright law. But a strange feeling had come over her, and she'd put it on without hesitation. Almost as if someone had told her to do it, but that was impossible. Sasami didn't even know about the costume...yet.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Sakura walked out of the bathroom and took her seat.  
  
Sasami didn't say anything, as she was too busy studying the console again.  
  
Sakura cleared her throat loudly.  
  
Sasami finally looked up. "Isn't that-"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh." Sasami blinked. "So you won't get in trouble with Saturn?"  
  
"Probably. But I'm hoping she'll be able to overlook it if we help her."  
  
"So I should probably change, too, huh?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Okay. Turn away for a minute."  
  
Sakura arched an eyebrow, but did as Sasami requested.  
  
There was a bright flash of light, followed by some strange music. "Okay, I'm done."  
  
Sakura turned around. "Uh..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. It's just...you kinda look like Sailor Moon."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Yeah. Especially the hair."  
  
"So we'll get into trouble with them together."  
  
Sakura bit her lip. "So...what do I call you now?"  
  
"Magical Girl Pretty Sammy."  
  
"Uh...do you have a shorter title?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Well...can I just call you Sammy?"  
  
"I'd prefer Pretty Sammy, but okay." Sammy grinned. "What do I call you? Sailor Sakura?"  
  
Sakura turned bright red. "Yes, actually."  
  
Sammy stopped grinning. "Oh. Sorry."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The rollerblades. They were red a second ago, right?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"So why are they violet now?"  
  
"I don't know," Sakura admitted. "The same thing just happened to your wand."  
  
"Really? Wow. You think it means something?"  
  
"No idea. But I can see Earth from here, and I get the feeling we're needed. As in right now."  
  
Sammy considered that for a moment. "Can you teleport?"  
  
"No. You?"  
  
"First time for everything."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"Yeah. Me, too." Sammy raised her wand and closed her eyes.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Hotaru woke up in a pool of blood. Fortunately, it wasn't hers, but she didn't know that.  
  
"You're finally awake," Mistress Nine said. "Wonderful. Now I can see the look on your face when I tell you that your friends are dead."  
  
Hotaru narrowed her eyes. "You're lying."  
  
"Fine. Ask them yourself. Aisha, if you'd be so kind."  
  
Aisha appeared, dragging the bodies of Duo and Ryoko. She tossed them at Hotaru's feet, then returned to Mistress Nine's side. "Can I kill her now?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"No, dear. Not yet."  
  
Aisha pouted. "But she's so small and helpless!"  
  
"True, but that's hardly her fault. We can't help the way we're born."  
  
Hotaru crawled over to Ryoko and checked for a pulse. There was none. "Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place," she told herself. "Ryoko wasn't really human, anyway." Next was Duo, who looked even worse. Aisha had really done a number on him. He didn't have a pulse, either. But Hotaru's mind wouldn't accept that they were dead. "Duo's a Gundam pilot. Heero probably taught him how to act dead for a long time."  
  
"No, I taught him," Aisha answered with a wicked grin. "And trust me, he's not acting."  
  
Hotaru ignored the catgirl. "Duo?" she whispered, holding his head in her lap. "Can you hear me? You have to wake up now."  
  
"How long is she going to sit there?" Aisha asked.  
  
"Probably until she wastes away with them," Mistress Nine replied. "But I'd let you kill her before then."  
  
Aisha smiled. "Good."  
  
Suddenly, the entire building shook.  
  
"What was that?!" Aisha shrieked.  
  
"I would guess that Suzuka has encountered intruders."  
  
The window beside them shattered, and Suzuka's battered body flew in, crashing on top of the desk.  
  
"I would also guess that she was defeated," Mistress Nine added with a frown.  
  
"You'd be right," said Pretty Sammy as she climbed in through the window. "And there's more where that came from!"  
  
Aisha looked skeptical. "Is this a joke?"  
  
"No, dear," Mistress Nine replied. "This is Pretty Sammy."  
  
"That's Chaos to you, lady!" Sammy shouted.  
  
Aisha snickered. "Chaos? YOU?"  
  
"It's a temporary position," she admitted. "But I get all the rights that come with it."   
  
Aisha snorted. "Like what?"  
  
Sammy pointed her wand at Aisha. "Like this!"  
  
When nothing happened, Aisha laughed and grabbed the wand. "HA! It doesn't do anything!"  
  
Sammy turned and ran out of the room.  
  
"What a coward. Can you believe that?"  
  
Mistress Nine backed away, her eyes widening.  
  
"What? It's just a stupid wand!"  
  
The wand exploded in Aisha's hand, knocking her through three walls before she finally slumped to the ground.  
  
Mistress Nine waved away the smoke. "It would seem that I underestimated these...children." It was then that she noticed Hotaru, Ryoko, and Duo were gone.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"I'm starting to think your idea didn't work, Guy."  
  
"It worked. It'll just take tiiiiiiime!"  
  
The door to the broom closet had suddenly opened, so Guy and Gene tumbled to the floor, covered in dust and cobwebs. They looked up to see Sakura standing over them.  
  
"You guys okay?" she asked.  
  
"Sure," Guy said. "But...what took you so long?"  
  
"I had to sneak the Saturn Scouts out first. They're in the ship."  
  
"And Mistress Nine?"  
  
Sakura shrugged. "Sammy said she'd stall her."   
  
"Hate to break up the moment," Gene said, "but COULD YOU GET OFF ME?!"  
  
Guy quickly got to his feet, while Gene took a bit more time, as he had to work the cramps out of his legs.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Gene asked.  
  
"You guys are going back to the ship," Sakura answered. "Sammy and I are going to try and hold off Mistress Nine as long as we can."  
  
"And what happens when you can't?" Guy asked.  
  
Sakura frowned. "Okay, you could start working on a plan, too."  
  
"Wait," Gene interrupted. "Where's Jim? He's good at this strategy stuff."  
  
"Oh, he's on the ship, too. He's the first one I rescued."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Jim glanced at Hotaru. "I really don't think they're going to wake up."  
  
"They will," she insisted, stroking Duo's head. "They have to."  
  
"I just don't see how you can sit there holding a de-"  
  
"He's NOT dead!" she snapped.  
  
"Whoa! Sorry!" Jim backed away. "I thought you were supposed to be quiet and shy?"  
  
"People change," Hotaru muttered.  
  
"Okay. Well, in case they DON'T wake up in time, I think you should be ready to fight again."  
  
"I am ready."  
  
"Hotaru, no offense, but if you had been, you wouldn't be here holding a d--er, Duo."  
  
Hotaru couldn't deny the wisdom in his observation. "What do you suggest?"  
  
"Well, stop babying him first. Next, start practicing your moves or something. Anything that helps you get ready for battle. I don't know how long Sakura & Sammy can last, even with new powers. They need your help."  
  
"But I can't just go in there alone, Jim. She has Reenie. What if something happens to her?"  
  
"I could go with you," a voice said.  
  
Hotaru looked up. "Who are you?"  
  
Jim turned around and nearly fainted. "It...it's really you...isn't it?"  
  
The girl smiled at him. "Of course, silly. Who else would it be?"  
  
Continued in Part 5: Creative Control 


	6. Creative Control

Part 5: Creative Control  
  
"Let me see if I understand this," Guy said slowly. "Gene, Hotaru, and Homniyo are gonna charge in there and take apart everything that moves?"  
  
"Right," Jim said.  
  
"THAT'S your plan?!"  
  
"Of course not. It's Gene's. My plan is to get some more help."  
  
"What about Duo & Ryoko?"  
  
"Well, once I managed to pry Hotaru away from them, I put them in the regeneration tanks. But it'll be a while before they can come out."  
  
Guy sighed. "So we're still screwed."  
  
"Unless you have a plan, yes."  
  
Guy thought for a moment. Then his eyes widened. "That's it! I know what we can do!"  
  
Jim blinked. "Really? What?"  
  
"No time! Just get me a phone, quick!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So. Ideas?" Sakura asked quietly.  
  
"Nope," Sammy replied. "You?"  
  
"Fresh out." Sakura swallowed noisily. "Uh...but we can't lose. We're the good guys, right?"  
  
Sammy shrugged. "Well, there's four of them, and two of us. Besides, they're OUTSIDE the magical cage. With the keys. They have powers, while ours...seem to have vanished."  
  
"So...we're screwed?" Sakura asked.  
  
Sammy nodded. "Yeah."  
  
Sakura sighed. "I was afraid of that."  
  
On the other side of the room, Mistress Nine and her Sadist Scouts were waiting patiently. Well, some of them, anyway.  
  
"This is boring," Aisha muttered. "Can't I go maul someone?"  
  
"She told us to wait," Suzuka replied. "So we'll wait."  
  
"But I'm BORED!"  
  
"And if you don't stop whining, in a minute you'll be DEAD."  
  
"Are you threatening ME?"  
  
"No, I'm making you a promise."  
  
"Suzu, you really-"  
  
"Don't EVER call me that again."  
  
Black Lady sighed and closed her eyes. "Did you really have to take them for your servants?"  
  
Mistress Nine tapped her chin thoughtfully. "They're annoying, but they're strong. Much like Hotaru and her friends."  
  
"I wish you'd let me kill her already."  
  
"I told you, when Hotaru dies, I will be the one to do it."  
  
"Then why do you insist on playing games with her?" Black Lady asked. "You've had several chances to kill her, but you never do."  
  
"I want her to suffer as I did. To lose everything but the darkness inside her. And then she will lose even that."  
  
"I think you're obsessed with her."  
  
Mistress Nine didn't even blink. "Perhaps I am. It would only make her defeat all the more pleasant."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Yugi, I understand that you want to be a Scout. I even understand that you came up with the idea for the show. But what I can't understand is how you got Dad to agree."  
  
Yugi glanced at Trunks in the mirror and continued to apply eye-liner. "I didn't. He doesn't know yet."  
  
"Uh...you didn't tell him?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Yugi, he's going to find out sooner or later."  
  
"Which is why my favorite big brother is going to tell him," she added, smiling sweetly.  
  
"No way. I like living."  
  
"But you like me more. Right?"  
  
"I don't like ANYBODY that much."  
  
Yugi sighed. "Trunks, what was your life-long dream?"  
  
"To become a Super Saiyan so I could save my world."  
  
"Well, mine is to be a Scout. You got yours, so let me have mine."  
  
Trunks shook his head. "No, Yugi. I'm not telling him."  
  
"Fine. But when he asks you where I've gone, what will you say? You know he can tell when you're lying."  
  
The color drained from Trunks's face. "You planned this, didn't you?"  
  
Yugi smiled. "Yup!"  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Love you, too, Trunks. Hand me that hair wrap, would you?"  
  
Trunks picked up the red-and-black checkered hair wrap. "How do you get all your hair into this thing, anyway?" Then he looked up. "Oh."  
  
Yugi's hair was standing up on her head. "Telekinetics, use number 3472: Easy hair-styling."  
  
"I see." Trunks carefully placed the hair wrap on her head. "Did I do it right?"  
  
"Yup. Thanks." Yugi made a few final adjustments and turned around. "So, what do you think?"  
  
Trunks backed up a step. "Yugi, you look evil!"  
  
"Really? Aw, you're so sweet to say that!"  
  
"Yugi, I'm serious!"  
  
"I heard you the first time, Trunks." Yugi hopped out of the chair and walked past him. "Good luck telling Vegeta about this."  
  
"Wait! You didn't say anything about being evil!"   
  
"I'm NOT evil. Not right now, anyway. This is just to strike fear in my opponents by making them THINK I'm evil and scary."  
  
"You really think that'll work?"  
  
Yugi grinned. "I know it will. I wrote the script."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Homniyo, are you sure about this? You only woke up about an hour ago."  
  
She smiled. "Relax, Jim. I'm fine, really. I'm just gonna help Hotaru beat Mistress Nine's evil butt, and then we'll be right back. Okay?"  
  
Jim looked worried. "But you make it sound so simple..."  
  
Homniyo reached up and patted his cheek. "It is simple, Jim. We win, she loses."  
  
"But you don't even MMMPH!" Jim forget what he was saying as Homniyo suddenly kissed him.  
  
A moment later, she pulled back, smiling even wider.  
  
"Uh...what was that for?" Jim asked.  
  
"Luck, of course."  
  
"Right. Um...maybe you could use some more luck?"  
  
"Yes," Homniyo agreed, pressing a finger to his lips. "After I beat Mistress Nine."  
  
"But...but..."  
  
"I told you to relax. We'll be fine. I've been showing Hotaru some moves, and I think she's ready."  
  
"How can you be sure?"  
  
Sailor Saturn suddenly walked into the room, carrying the Silence Glaive at her side. There was a violet fire in her eyes that made her seem quite formidable.  
  
"Call it a hunch," Homniyo replied with a grin.  
  
"But you're not thinking of going by yourselves, are you?" Jim asked.  
  
"We can't wait for anyone to get here. We have to go now."  
  
"I agree," Saturn said quietly. "Mistress Nine must be stopped as soon as possible."  
  
Before Jim could protest, the two girls vanished. "Oh, crap. Guy's not gonna like this."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sakura wasn't sure how long they'd been in the cage when a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness. "Who's there?" she asked.  
  
The figure stopped by the cage, and a bright light appeared, blinding Sakura for a moment. As her eyes adjusted, she nearly screamed.  
  
"You're Sakura, right?" the girl asked.  
  
Sakura nodded. "Who are you?"  
  
"Yugi. Old friend of Sasami's. You two okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Sasami fell asleep, but...you don't really look like a good guy."  
  
"I know, I get that all the time. Stand back for a minute."  
  
Sakura obeyed, and Yugi closed her eyes. The cage shuddered for a moment, then melted away.  
  
"How did you do that?"  
  
"If I told you, my Dad would have to kill you."  
  
Sakura blinked as she helped Sasami up. "What?"  
  
"Never mind." Yugi glanced around. "I guess Duo & Ryoko aren't here yet, or the place would be in ruins. I'd better speed up the process." She pulled a paper from her pocket and began writing rapidly.   
  
"What are you doing?" Sakura asked.  
  
"Making a script change," Yugi replied. "Let's just hope it works."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"That's it!" Aisha roared. "I wanna maul someone, and you're elected!"  
  
"Bring it on!" Suzuka shouted, raising her sword.  
  
The two screamed and tackled each other, clawing and biting as if they'd lost their minds.  
  
"What are they doing?" Black Lady asked.  
  
"Some outside force must be controlling them," Mistress Nine answered. "They must be on their way."  
  
"Correction," said Sailor Saturn as she materialized in front of them. "We're here."  
  
Mistress Nine rolled her eyes. "Hurt her. Badly."  
  
Black Lady started forward, but a pink blur flew by, knocking her to the ground with one kick. Homniyo landed beside Saturn, moving her hands in a strange pattern.  
  
"I swear they're like cockroaches," Mistress Nine muttered. "Prepare to die, girls."  
  
"Got that right," Black Lady growled as she stood up. "No one touches my face!"  
  
"Hold it right there, Pinky!" Yugi said as she appeared overhead. "This is MY show, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it. YOU weren't even in the original script!"  
  
"What in the world is she talking about?" Black Lady asked, taking a step back. "And shouldn't she be on our side?"  
  
Yugi scribbled something down. "That should do it. Now, to deal with you." She raised her hand and wiggled her fingers.  
  
"Uh...what's she doing?" Homniyo asked. "And who's side IS she on?"  
  
"Ours, I think," Saturn replied. "We used to be roommates. Only she never looked like that while I knew her."  
  
Suddenly, a huge chunk of crystal crashed through the ceiling and crushed Black Lady. The crystal broke, dividing into five large pieces. Among them was a dazed but unharmed Reenie.  
  
"I should've known bringing you back would've caused trouble," Yugi muttered, glaring at Mistress Nine.  
  
"It was your fault for never defining how powerful I was. Which leaves me free to do this."   
  
A violet lightning bolt leaped from the woman's hand and slammed into Saturn's chest. She stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, the Silence Glaive landing beside her.  
  
"NO!" Yugi shouted. "You killed my star! What about the show?!"  
  
"I have no interest in your show. I only desire revenge."  
  
Homniyo leaned over Saturn and gently shook her shoulders. "Saturn? Hotaru? Anyone?" But Saturn was still and silent, and the violet light had left her eyes.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Another fine mess you've gotten us into, Duo.  
  
YOU were the one that busted the coffin, Ryoko.  
  
Yeah, well, you shoulda stopped me!  
  
Oh, right! I'm human, you're a demon. Who's gonna when THAT fight?  
  
You Gundam pilots are all so negative and broody. Look at the bright side!  
  
I almost forgot the bright side. Instead of being out there with Hotaru, I'm stuck in here...with YOU.  
  
She never has to know, Duo. I won't tell her if you won't...*lover.*  
  
Don't even kid like that! I still haven't forgiven you for that...that kiss!  
  
Was it as good for YOU as it was for ME?  
  
Ryoko, when we get outta here, you're gonna pay big time. I mean that.  
  
Yeah, just like you meant it the other 375 times you said it.  
  
Wait a minute. Ryoko, something's wrong. Hotaru...I can't feel her!  
  
Duo, this is no time to fantasize about the kid.  
  
No! She's not breathing! Ryoko, she's dead!  
  
Hey, you're right! What's going on out there?!  
  
I don't know, but she needs us. We have to get out--  
  
NOW!  
  
Jim screamed as the tanks exploded behind him, sending water and glass flying everywhere. Duo & Ryoko emerged, dripping wet and extremely pissed.  
  
Jim blinked. "Uh...they already left, and-"  
  
By that time, Duo & Ryoko were gone.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The scene had broken down into three fights. Aisha and Suzuka were still clawing each other, Yugi and Mistress Nine were arguing over what was and wasn't in the script, and Homniyo was demanding that Saturn start breathing again. In other words, nothing was getting done.  
  
The wall exploded in a shower of debris, and Ryoko flew in. "Okay, who wants to die first?"  
  
Yugi groaned in frustration. "NO! You were supposed to be here TEN minutes ago! Nothing is working right!"  
  
"Yugi, what are you doing here?"  
  
Duo appeared just then. "Who did it?!" he screamed. "Who killed her?!"  
  
Everyone pointed at Mistress Nine.  
  
"YOU'RE DEAD!"  
  
Yugi tripped Duo as he ran forward. "No. I've had it. This ends NOW."  
  
"What? What are you talking about?" Homniyo asked.  
  
Yugi sighed and shook her head. "I'm canceling the show. This just isn't working out right."  
  
The words were barely out of her mouth when Mistress Nine and the Sadist Scouts vanished.  
  
"I'm never doing my own show again," Yugi muttered. "It's way too hard to get a good product."  
  
"I'm missing something," Ryoko said. "What happened?"  
  
Saturn sat up. "What's going on here? Where's Mistress Nine?"  
  
"Gone, just like all the others." Yugi pulled off her head wrap and let down her hair. "You guys can go home now. This just isn't gonna work. I doubt we'll even make it to TV."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"And in other news, Cartoon Network's highly anticipated series, "The Saturn Scouts," is over before it could even begin. The show's creators decided it was, and I quote, 'something a child dreamed up.'"  
  
Yugi groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "Turn it off, please."  
  
"No," Vegeta replied with a grin. "I'm watching this channel."  
  
"You just want to rub it in, don't you?"  
  
"Of course. Your show fell apart before it even debuted."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Pop. I can really feel that this is one of those father-daughter bonding moments I'll always treasure."  
  
"Maybe next time you'll listen to me, Yugi. It takes more than a bunch of famous characters to make a show."  
  
"It worked for 'The Anime World,' y'know."  
  
"That was different. *I* was on that show."  
  
"So was I. And it still got canceled."  
  
"We got highest ratings for the week we were on."  
  
"True." Yugi sighed. "I guess I wasn't meant to have my own show."  
  
As a warrior, Vegeta wanted to laugh at her failure. But as a father, he felt he was supposed to do something. Finally, he hesitantly reached over and patted her head.  
  
Yugi looked at him. "What the heck was THAT?"  
  
"It was my way of hugging you without really doing it. I have an image to uphold."  
  
"My dream was just destroyed. Can't you put the warrior's pride aside for one minute and hug me?"  
  
Vegeta frowned. "No."  
  
Yugi whimpered and began to sob loudly. "Nobody loves me!"  
  
Vegeta growled, then put one arm around her shoulders.  
  
Yugi stopped crying. "A hug is defined as two arms wrapping around a body, not one."  
  
Vegeta muttered something under his breath.  
  
"Unless that was a, 'I love you very much, Yugi,' I think you should try again."  
  
Vegeta sighed and put both arms around her. "Fine! Are you happy now?"  
  
"A REAL hug offers comfort. You're yelling at me. I think I might cry again..."  
  
"I'm SORRY," Vegeta growled through his teeth.  
  
"A real hug also offers SOME physical contact. You're just touching my shoulders. Here, let me show you." Yugi climbed into his lap and pressed her head against his chest. "Now, this isn't so bad, is it?"  
  
"I feel sick."  
  
"Oh, stop it. You know you love me and my mushy stuff."  
  
"I do NOT," Vegeta insisted.  
  
"Sure. I remember when we first met, all you wanted to do was baby me."  
  
"That is NOT true."  
  
"Oh, sure it is." Yugi looked up into his eyes. "Face it, big guy. You love me. I can't blame you, though. I AM cute."  
  
Vegeta growled again, but said nothing else.  
  
"Okay, I can see you're not enjoying this. Just give me a fatherly kiss and I'll be on my way."  
  
Vegeta didn't move.  
  
"This is the part where you kiss me and make me fell better, Dad. Y'know, because I'm depressed? About the show being canceled?"  
  
"And why would I do that?"  
  
"Because despite Trunks's claims, I am your favorite child." Yugi closed her eyes and turned her face up to him. "You may kiss me now."  
  
Vegeta still didn't move.  
  
Yugi opened one eye. "Please tell me you know how to kiss."  
  
"Of course I do. I just have no intention of kissing you."  
  
"I see why Trunks is always so down. You're not exactly Parent of the Year material."  
  
"There is no law that says I have to kiss you."  
  
"There is a law that says you have to kiss me. I invented it three seconds ago. Obey or go to jail."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine! Then I'm going to sit here until you do!" Yugi glared at him and rested her head against his chest.  
  
Vegeta merely stared at her.  
  
A few hours later, Yugi began to snore quietly.  
  
Vegeta carefully wrapped a blanket around her and carried her to bed. He had just stepped out of her bedroom when he paused and doubled back. Yugi was still asleep, so he leaned over and quickly kissed her forehead. Just as he reached the door, he heard a voice.   
  
"Thanks, DADDY."  
  
Vegeta shuddered and quickly left the room.  
  
Yugi smiled to herself and sighed happily. Oh, well. I guess I could always try the movie version of Saturn Scouts. Maybe I'll even win an MTV Movie Award or something...  
  
With that, Yugi fell asleep, with big hopes and even bigger dreams.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The Midnight Run meeting was a lot more crowded that night.  
  
"Okay," Guy began. "I want to thank you all for doing your best to make 'The Saturn Scouts' our best spin-off show, but it looks like we'll just have to move on."  
  
"But I feel bad," Sakura pointed out. "Like it's our fault or something."  
  
"Well, not exactly," Guy said. "It was Yugi's first script. She's still new to being on the other side of the camera...or pen...or...whatever."  
  
"She's probably really upset," Sasami added. "We should do something for her."  
  
"Maybe we could have an 'Anime World' reunion!" Reenie suggested.  
  
"I think you just want to see Li again," Guy said. "But it is a good idea. I'll see if I can round everyone up. Speaking of which, where ARE the Saturn Scouts?"  
  
"They took off," Gene replied. "Said you knew. Some sort of special training."  
  
"What?! I didn't know about any special training!"  
  
"Oh. Should I have stopped them?" Gene asked.  
  
"YES!"   
  
"Well, they're probably halfway to Peacemillion by now," Suzuka said.  
  
"And being killed DOES take a lot out of you," Goku added.   
  
Guy sighed. "Okay, okay. Now, since Outlaw Star's been so successful, we're thinking of doing some sort of extra series there."  
  
"Can't do it," Gene interrupted. "Jim's gone."  
  
"What?! Where is he?!"  
  
"With the Saturn Scouts," Aisha replied. "Said you knew."  
  
"No, I didn't! Are you people trying to get me fired?!"  
  
There was an uneasy silence before Gene said, "Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I am."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Duo cleared his throat. "Welcome to Gundam Piloting 101. I will be your teacher. You may address me as Professor Maxwell, Dr. Duo, Sir, or Teach. Are there any questions so far?"  
  
Hotaru raised her hand.  
  
Duo grinned. "Yes, beautiful young lady?"  
  
Hotaru blushed. "Um...I was just wondering...could I call you sweetheart?"  
  
"YOU can call me tonight. Any more questions?"  
  
Jim raised his hand.  
  
"The Quatre wanna-be up front?"  
  
Jim frowned. "Uh...when are we actually going to SEE the Gundams?"  
  
"In time, my student. First, you'll practice with these realistic replicas you see in front of you. Do either of you suffer from motion sickness, easily getting dizzy, or generally being a wuss?"  
  
Hotaru and Jim looked at each other. "No?"  
  
"Great! Then we can get started." Duo walked behind Hotaru's chair. "Now, what do we do first?"  
  
"Um...turn it on?" Hotaru guessed.   
  
"Wrong! First, we buckle up."  
  
"Oh. Sorry." Hotaru fastened her seatbelt.  
  
"Next?"  
  
"Now we turn it on?"  
  
"Nope. We give the cute teacher a compliment so he'll raise our grade and overlook that last mistake."  
  
Hotaru glanced up at him. "I don't remember that being in the lesson."  
  
"Hey, who's teaching this class?"  
  
"Okay, okay." Hotaru thought for a moment. "You're looking exceptionally handsome today, Dr. Duo."  
  
"Why, thank you, student! Such an unexpected compliment certainly deserves a reward!" Duo leaned over the seat and kissed her cheek.  
  
Hotaru turned beet red. "Duo!"  
  
"That's Dr. Duo to you, student. Now, what comes next?"  
  
"Turn it on?"  
  
"Wrong again! Next, we check our necks!"  
  
"What?" Hotaru asked. "Why?"  
  
"To make sure they're strong enough to travel at high speeds in space, of course. Allow me to demonstrate by checking YOUR neck for you, student." Duo leaned in close again.  
  
Hotaru jumped. "What are you doing, Duo?!"  
  
"Inspecting your neck, of course."  
  
"I don't think you need your mouth for that."  
  
"A proper neck inspector always uses his finest tools."  
  
"But do they always make out with the inspectees?"  
  
Duo tilted his head. "What an odd but perfectly sensible suggestion!"  
  
"Hey, there are other people in the class!" Jim shouted. "I need help, too!"  
  
"Talk to Teaching Assistant Ryoko, then."  
  
Jim looked over at Ryoko, who was playing a video game. "Uh..."  
  
"I'm busy!" she snapped. "Ask MY Teaching Assistant."  
  
"The Teaching Assistant has a Teaching Assistant?"  
  
"Yes, she does," Homniyo replied as she sat in Jim's lap. "I'll be your student helper."  
  
Jim turned bright red. "I...uh...um..."  
  
"Don't be nervous, Jim! I'll be careful with you." She squeezed his hands. "Now, what do we do first?"  
  
"Uh...buckle up?"  
  
"Wrong! First, we award the student helper for being so beautiful! Don't you think I'm beautiful?"  
  
"Well...yes, but what does that have to do with-"  
  
"And do you know how we reward the student helper?"  
  
"...no?"  
  
"Allow me to demonstrate." Homniyo slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.  
  
Jim managed to stop her as their faces were mere centimeters apart. "But what about the Gundams?"  
  
Homniyo smiled. "Let them get their own student helpers."  
  
Ryoko rolled her eyes. "They should've called this class Make-Out Sessions 101..."  
  
The End.  



End file.
